Cold, Plus Babies.

Urgh, horses. Large and pushy and they make my clothes smell musty and jeez, could they get up any earlier in the morning?

Urgh, horses. I was up late last night and normal people sleep in their beds until six or seven or maybe even eight. If they don’t have kids/desk jobs they’re sleeping until one or so. Daylight is for losers. That’s my life. I want it back.

Urgh, horses. I have to get on that thing? A two year old? Are you freaking kidding me? Do I look like I’m eighteen? Do I look like I care? Do I look like I bounce?

Urgh, horses. It’s 20 degrees outside, did you know? Do you care? I don’t have a face mask. I don’t know where face masks COME from. The backstretch face mask fairy? He doesn’t come to Park Slope. Never saw him in Florida, either, but that goes without saying.

Urgh, horses. Stop bouncing under me, filly. Just freaking walk a straight line. Just keep your four feet on the ground. Sit on your ass, don’t be throwing your back up at me. Dirty little thing. Just what I want, to get up at four o’clock in the morning so a snotty little baby can dump me in the dirt.

Urgh, horses.

Yes, that’s a person. Yes, that’s a mile pole. Yes, that’s another horse. Yes, that’s a starting gate. Aren’t we ignorant today. STOP BOUNCING. I MEAN IT!

Oh, that’s a nice trot.

Oh.

Well done, my dear.

Oh, aren’t we arching our neck like a little FEI horse.

You went right past that scary bag! You’re SO BRAVE. Ooooh here comes someone around the turn, this will be very scary – here, put your nose towards the rail, no need to look at the scary breezing horse. Goodness he looked like a fool, didn’t he?

That looked like fun, didn’t it…?

You were lovely, lovely! That’s it, we’re done. Going in.

That was lovely. Where’s my nose? The rest of me is warm, but damn if I can feel my nose.. Oh, horses..

Where’s my next horse?

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5 Comments

Filed under racetrack life, Uncategorized

5 responses to “Cold, Plus Babies.

  1. Sara Tardanico

    Oh, the nose will come back!

    I remember those days in the vague past. Of course, today I would rather wait until 10 or 11 am until I rise and face the horses, Not that mine are race horses. The weather has been cold, though. I mean, do I have to ride when its 50 degrees and breezy? I used to right in 15 or 20 degree weather, in the snow. I moved to Florida and got old, and my joints don’t work so well. Then I get on and we warm up and oh, now I remember, its not really winter here, its a pale imitation, but its enough for me. What I dread is the summer.

  2. Barb

    Hey, Natalie, if you put a light layer of Vaseline, or Aquaphor, in the baby aisle at the drug store, on your face when you ride in the sub-zero temps, it really helps. And when you’re done, it will have kept the wind from chapping your face, won’t be a goopy mess, and will have actually moisturized your skin. I used to do that when I ran, and it really works. Glad you had a good ride(s)!

  3. BrooklynSaint

    this reads like a poem–lovely job (sorry about these cold mornings!)

  4. Horses, kinda like sex, even when they’re bad they’re still pretty good.

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